My son recently said to me, “Mom, you have a speck of everything from the Universe inside you. EVERYTHING. If you would just realize that you could change the world...with just one tiny speck." Out of the mouth of my beautiful boy, someone younger than me and who I value and listen to. I trust him. And all he said was truth. I AM power. I AM a Queen. I AM. No one and I mean NO ONE can take that from me. Not by force, not with words, not with pain. Your truth is your truth. But hold up…so is mine. Don’t impose yourself on me. Don’t use your truth to diminish mine. Don’t scream at me from your place of pain, your place of greed, your place that is nothing more than a festering wound. Focus on YOU.
Freedom comes in HEALING. And ain’t nobody going to do that for you but you. Yeah, life can be an absolute total shit show. Life can be absolute fucking pain and ugly and putrid. But don’t pretend you know my pain and I won’t pretend to know yours. Don’t claim that your pain is greater than mine when we live it in different ways. Yes, it’s the same because it’s pain but acknowledge yours and I’ll acknowledge mine and we’ll agree it hurts and we see each other carrying that. But the major difference is that I have compassion.
What I have is LOVE.
And that’s not hippie dippie rainbows and unicorns bullshit. That’s truth. When I look in my children’s faces that’s LOVE. When I look down at the face of my newly born daughter…that’s LOVE. The power came in the acknowledgment of her life, in the surrender to the unknown, to the nurturing of peace for her, in the protection of her with MY life.
I AM…in the shadow land. I AM…in a place that hurts and has no promise of ending soon.
And why do I try and share and practice words of encouragement, of light, of hope? Because the world has enough fucked up in it. The world has enough pain in it. Because my anger and my sorrow and my pain don’t need to be fed any more than is necessary. I don’t wish to destroy unless it in turn will bring life, not destruction.
My freedom comes in LIVING.
My freedom comes in crying out when I HURT. My freedom comes in screaming and fighting for the breath that is mine to breath. My freedom comes when I go through the seven levels in to the dark, hung on the meat hooks as Inanna was and emerge on the other side, full of LOVE, WISDOM, WAR, LIFE, SEX.
That is MY FREEDOM.
Choose to witness and share in life with me, you living your truth and me living mine, but creating that shared space where all beings share without harming one another but instead seeing the other, respecting the other, encouraging the other, LOVING the other.