Yesterday, the energy during this Eclipse season was so heavy. Like pea soup thick. My feeling yesterday was a fearful ANGER. It was ugly. On days like that, I want to hide. I was angry in prayer, I was angry in chanting, I was angry in walking, I was angry in simply breathing. I wanted to go to bed and not talk to a soul. But I moved with it. I looked closer. I pressed into the sharp part of my terror.
And when I picked up my older three children from their bus stops and played with them in the moment, it began to ease. Not a lot but it took the edge off. Much like when I used to drink or dance to ease my edge.
Then...I put myself to bed early.
I slept and I dreamed and I processed. My anger was digested by the soul and transmuted into tears of gratitude and forgiveness which is rooted in LOVE.
This morning, my prayers and my chants were given with tears and joy; my movements with loving purpose.