The word happiness, when I see it, makes me smile. It immediately brings a feeling of contentment. I don't even have to be thinking about anything particularly happy. It just makes me smile.But if you actually begin to think about what makes you happy, well, that's where you begin to learn your own personal definition. I believe that at the heart of most happiness we all have the same basic definition but when you start to bring it in towards the detailed levels you begin to see what it is exactly.
My definition of happiness is something that I have begun to truly recognize and appreciate. It is there even in the midst of complete turmoil and chaos. Nothing has to be going well. In fact it can all be going to complete and total shit and I can still be happy. That's because at the base of me I am happy. For those that have never experienced it fight hard to find it and become intimate with it. It is a gift more precious than gold.
My happiness is me. How I value me. How I nourish me. How I cherish me. How I understand me and even how I don't understand me. It's how I love me. The kind of love that is unconditional. When this is off, well, that's when I am not happy. But for the past year I have come to that place where I love me. I know me. And once I found that, my base, I was able to look outside me for other people, things, activities that helped to continue the health of that happiness.
Happiness is created in yourself. From there you are able to seek outside of you and are also able to share your happiness with others. My own happiness helps to foster love and light in others.It's not necessarily that I GIVE it to them but rather that I share it and to me that is so much stronger. When you share it flows back and forth. I love sharing. The energy from a connection is very powerful.
The past week, really months, has had so many ups and downs and so many new places and feelings that at times it was quite overwhelming but through it all I have had this feeling of happiness throughout even the darkest of times. Today, however, was just a day I woke to the feeling of just completely blissed out. Granted it helps when you are able to share it with someone who shares back, which I have had the great pleasure of experiencing, but even when the days brought with it devastating news, I still felt for my base and it was happy. Even when people, things, events were not the most beautiful I still was able to see the true beauty of it. This feeling is one that leaves me able to handle the moments where panic and fear present themselves with great ferocity. I meet it head on, look at it, become intimate with it and then know that I am able not only to deal with it but learn from it and to see the beauty in the ugly.